Hello Garci… Goodbye Gloria? – 10 REASONS WHY GOV’T IS NOT ALLOWING GMA TO LEAVE THE COUNTRY

1. Malacañang is willing to fly in a doctor for GMA, all-expense paid. GMA should wait for the arrival of world-renowned doctor…. Dr. Emmanuel D. Pacquiao! He is coming to the Philippines real soon. Most likely, the doctor will also have a courtesy call in Malacañang.
   
2. GMA is being blamed for Pacquiao’s controversial win, not because she called up the judges while the counting of votes was being conducted, but because Chief Justice Corona, one of the original judges, had to come back to RP to hear the Arroyo petitions. Had he not missed the fight, Pacquiao would have won more clearly and convincingly.
3. Noynoy’s No Wang-Wang Policy. Apparently, St. Luke’s ambulance and the convoy of vehicles were using their sirens and wangwangs when bringing GMA from the hospital to the airport. Although some people thought that was just the normal way of introducing the passenger... "boWangWang..."
   
4. GMA's titanium implants set off the airport’s metal detectors and body scan alarms when she passed through them.
   
5. Children below 5 feet should be accompanied and supervised by mature adults. Unfortunately, none of GMA’s companions are mature.
6. Aside from the two bags in front of her, GMA was bringing with her overweight excess baggage… in the person of former FG Mike Arroyo.
7. Professor X did not need PAL, Cebu Pacific, or Singapore Airlines. He used the Blackbird. GMA should use another aircraft… more specifically, a second hand helicopter passed-off as brand new.
8. Noynoy wants her former mentor to teach again at their alma mater. The subject is not Economics, but this time Good Governance and Ethics. He also wants GMA to meet Hillary Clinton, the wife of her former classmate, who is visiting the country. That way, Hillary can talk about Ms. Lewinsky while GMA can talk about Vicky Toh. Noynoy can't relate to the experiences of their husbands. He couldn't even get one.
   
9. Noynoy claims that the NAIA is owned by his father. He wants GMA to use her father's airport in Clark, Pampanga instead.
   
10. Government is just too embarrassed to allow GMA to get into the NAIA. Authorities want to improve the airport first. Once NAIA gets off the list of worst airports in the world, then GMA can go inside the airport and leave the country. Right now, maybe NAIA does not even have restrooms for the disabled.
    

DISCLAIMER: This list is not intended to offend anyone. The statements here are not true and are products of the author's crazy imagination. I am sooorrrryy...